Look I’ll be honest, up until recently my own mental health was not at the top of my list of importance. It was always about my work and what my boss wanted. It was about my rental and keeping it perfect so i could get my bond back. It was about how long there was till my next paycheck to hit my account. In hindsight, none of these things are even remotely important, and certainly shouldn’t be what kept me awake at night.
When I was growing up, I was insecure. I was insecure about my vampire teeth, my legs that were getting hairier and hairier every day. I was insecure about my height, my weight, my voice, my hair. As it comes, I was dishing out insecurities on just about everything.
It has taken up too much real-estate in my brain and i never knew there would be a way out. but as I got older, I knew I had to do something to make a change. It wasn’t going to be “10 easy ways to lighten up unsightly leg hair!” either. Especially as the key word in there was “unsightly.” Being specifically targeted by the title to just another blog post about unwanted hair is a surefire way to develop some serious self-image issues.
For the things I thought I could fix I tried, I put highlights in my hair because I was picked on for having brown hair. I got my mum to buy me a hair straightener because I was picked on for having thick curly hair.
I shaved my legs because I was picked on for having hairy legs.
I spoke in a deep voice because I was picked on for having a high voice.
“don’t listen to them, they’re just jealous.” It rings in my ears at every thought of insecurity. My Mental health peeling away with every day I spent at the butt end of another big foot joke. I spent the next 10 years bottling down my fears and insecurities and my anxieties. No one needed to know what I was going through; it was more important that everyone around me was unaware.
What a mistake that was.
With all my efforts to make everyone else happy I forgot about myself.
I let myself go further and further down a rabbit hole, trying to fill the void in my heart with cars, and the latest tech. Thinking that I some twisted way it substituted my own happiness. Tens of thousands of dollars of debt, and I had nothing to show for it. No happiness, no money, barely a place to live. All because I couldn’t see how important it was to speak up.
If this is feeling like you, you’re not alone. There is always someone willing to listen, always something ready to understand. If you take anything from my story, it’s how there is a way. there is a light at the end of this. Everything is going to be okay.
Over the past 5 years, I’ve been married, bought a house, paid off all my debt, adopted a Dog, and have a baby ready to join the family. 10 years ago, I would have laughed at the absurdity of a suggestion that all this was possible.
“Why would I be someone deserving of this?” “How is it possible that I can?”
I am telling you, you can.
I firmly believe that this life is for everyone. however, you come, is how you’re meant to be, and you can make this life a great one, it all comes down to who you want to be, and what you can do for yourself. Not any one person can decide for you what you can and can’t be.
If you are going through a hard time, there is an end date to it. You don’t have to do it alone. Your Mental health is important. Mental health will see you through every challenge.
Remember!
you are the writer of your own story. People can review your work, but it isn’t a reflection on your own self-worth. You are worth it, you are deserving, you are good.
Where to get help for mental health | Health Information and Services
